Since I retired a little over a year ago, I’ve made it a point to do something “productive” each day. What exactly that means is open to interpretation. For some productivity relates to work type tasks, for others, it’s household chores and management or time spent on hobbies, self-improvement etc.

Most of the time, I can check off a few if not several “productive” things I’ve done. Cleaned the kitchen, walked the dogs, taught an exercise class, practiced Italian, washed the sheets, etc. The list can be endless. But there are those days when I just don’t feel like anything I do really makes a darn bit of difference.

Retirement can do that to a person. I recently read a book entitled “How to retire and not die,” By Gary Sirak. I would read a few chapters and set it aside for long periods of time. It’s one of those self-help books that involves making lists – and then analyzing those lists. There’s a lot of self-reflection and the author encourages the reader to find their “passion and purpose.” Seems reasonable.

Except changing gears does not come naturally for most people. As someone who juggled raising kids, working, keeping up a household, taking care of pets, etc. for over thirty years, I’m hardwired in multi-tasking and tend to run more efficiently when I have a lot on my plate. If that sounds like the description of a car engine, so be it.

For the most part, I’ve kept myself reasonable “busy” and passably “productive” since the final closing of my office door. I’ve taken up new hobbies (hello, Pickleball), upped my reading list (I’m making good use of the libraries “Libby” app) and my kitchen is pretty much always tidied up.

Could my closets, office drawers and basement storage space be better organized? Absolutely! But I had an “Aha” moment recently and realized that I kind of liked having the excuse of being too busy to do those projects. Now that I have the time, I still find myself procrastinating.

I have a good friend who’s perfected the art of home organization and cleaning. She worked as a nurse before retiring several years ago to stay home with her children. I often look to her as a role model for how do to this “stay at home person” thing. She finds, and actually prepares, recipes on Pinterest, she loves to fixes things around her house and sets her timer to spend an hour each day cleaning.

I am still trying to fully embrace my retiree role. I’m looking for that balance of passion and purpose. I try to find meaningful volunteer opportunities and ways to give back to the community. And although I have seemingly unlimited time to pursue hobbies and interests, I’m not quite sure what to pursue. Hence the pickleball and Italian lessons. My dogs are loving that this abundance of free time means that we rarely miss a walk. I’m also learning that it’s okay not to be insanely busy.

All this has led to some moments of deep thought and introspection. What exactly is “productivity” and is time spent doing “nothing” really a waste of time? And is it even possible to “do nothing?” I thought had one of those “do nothing days” recently. But looking back, I supposed I did accomplish a few things.

I read several chapters of our next book club selection (“The Reading List” by Sarah Nisha Adams for those interested), practiced Italian on DuoLingo for an hour so, walked the dog, did three loads of laundry and vacuumed flies trapped between the window and the screen in the sunroom (yes, I actually did this). If I were really motivated, I’d fix the hole in the screen. I also watched the last two episodes of the Netflix series “Painkillers.” That certainly put things into perspective.

For many, who are in the thick of juggling a job and raising children, this probably sounds like a perfect day. And to those I say, your time will come. In retrospect, I have no complaints. I’m just a former productivity addict adjusting to living life at a new pace, making the best of every day and learning to be patient with myself on this journey.

I met a fellow retiree for coffee the other day (because that’s what we retirees seem to do). We discussed the challenges of downshifting from a jam-packed schedule to suddenly waking up one day and realizing no one was waiting for you at the office to make an important decision. There are few deadlines. And with that comes the lessening of face-to-face people time. Once you retire, it’s up to you to make those lunch dates and show up for those pickleball matches. It’s very freeing but also requires recalibration.

One thing I do love about retirement is the amount time I have to dig in and learn about things that weren’t on my radar in my former busier life. I’m currently reading a book about generations and learning what makes each one unique. It’s pretty fascinating. Maybe the Boomer in me explains my obsession with productivity. Look for an upcoming column on the topic.

Regardless of age, stage or generation, we can all benefit from lowering the productivity bar and accepting that it’s perfectly okay to just relax in the present moment.