When we paint with too broad a brush we miss out on getting to know individuals for who they truly are.

We’ve all done it. Made generalizations about a person or a group of people, based on their age, their gender, their social standing, their political party, and many other variables. It’s so easy to do.

In a “letter to the editor” published in my local paper, the writer characterized an entire political party as “awful” – which resulted in another letter to the editor defending members of that “awful” party as “generous, kind and caring” and backed it up by listing their many contributions to our community.

Are letters like this necessary, warranted, or more importantly, helpful? By painting an entire group of people as “awful” or conversely “wonderful” or “insert adjective” based on how they vote in an election, aren’t we doing a huge disservice to the individual?

I’ve met many people who don’t fit the mold describing how someone their age, gender, economic status etc. is expected to behave. I personally have raised two millennials who are extremely hard working ad are definitely not “snowflakes” despite the common generalizations of that age group. They, and other young people like them give me hope for the future.

I also know people who, like me, fall into the “baby-boomer” generation or seniors from the “greatest generation” who aren’t as conservative or mired in “old-fashioned” values as younger generations expect. There are women who question modern feminist views and men who don’t fall into the typical masculine ideology. The world is changing, but people have been, and always will be, individuals.

To declare that members of a certain group must all have the same opinion about an issue, or that anyone over (or under) the age of “X” surely believes “Y” – or that if someone is a member of “A”, they are clearly “wrong”, while members of “B” are absolutely “right,” does nothing to make our world a better place. Anyone who has been pigeonholed based on age, gender, race, socioeconomic status or political views knows this to be true.

And since I did (quite bravely) bring up politics, I’m going to point out that most people do not agree with everything a candidate or elected official from their party says, does, or will say or do in the future. People are far more complex than that and shouldn’t be held accountable for other’s behaviors – good or bad.

Because I truly believe that most people have good intentions, and that we can work together to make our community (and our world) a better place, I recently joined Braver Angels. It’s a non-partisan group whose objective is to bring people from both political parties together to learn to how to talk and listen to each other, to understand and to find common goals.

In the process, I’ve made some great new friends who are (gasp) members of the “other” party. Which really came as no surprise to me because I’ve never picked my friends based on how they vote. One of my “new friends” often says she’s “glad she now views things through the Braver Angels lens.”

We aren’t all the same, regardless of the groups, clubs and demographics that others use to define us. We were all created as individuals with our own opinions, personalities and passions. How they manifest is a function of upbringing and life experiences. To paint people as one dimensional instead of acknowledging their unique thoughts and beliefs is an assault on individuality.

I’ll include a dog anecdote – because, 1) I love dogs and 2) I believe that they are clearly infinitely wiser and better judges of character than we humans. I was walking Louie, my 90-pound Italian Spinone recently, when I saw another large dog and their human approaching.

Since Louie can be reactive (even though he’s just a big baby), I was a little hesitant and secured my grip on the leash. As we got closer, I asked the other dog walker “would your dog like to say hello?” We cautiously allowed the two pups to approach, whereupon they thoroughly sniffed each other and then, perceived threat diffused, indicated they were ready to resume their walk.

On other occasions, when I’ve pulled Louie away from another dog, they both tend to pull and bark and just generally act aggressively. As if by not “sniffing things out” they determine the other dog is a threat. The lesson here? Maybe it just takes getting to know someone before assuming they are “awful.” In dog terminology, why not “lead with a wag, not a bark.”

Or in people lingo, “let’s put down that broad brush and get to know people for the individuals they are.” There’s a good chance we’ll be pleasantly surprised.

For more information on Braver Angels, visit: www.braverangels.org