Closet Chaos

We’ve all been there.. Or at least,  we women have all been there. It’s time to get dressed for the day. Or the evening, or whatever activity we’re about to embark on. Hence begins the wardrobe dilemmas, the closet chaos, the.. Oh, let’s cut to the chase already! What the heck am I going to wear today?

There have been days when discarded outfits litter the floor of the closet like a mini volcano spewing lava, gradually growing larger and larger. And often, the first outfit tried on is the outfit I end up wearing. With the other 23 ensembles left as outcasts in a heap on the floor (or if you are tidy, on a chair).

On these days, my husband knows not to utter a word and to quietly, and efficiently get himself dressed and retreat from the closet/dressing area in a safe and orderly fashion.

Choices. Choices. So many choices.

The problem is (and it’s a first world problem) most of us have too many clothes. And too many choices. And choices and choices.. Which rekindles my appreciation of school uniforms. It was a much needed time saver during my kids parochial school days.

And so it begins. Which pair (out of 7) of black pants should I wear? And to go with those, which blouse (out of 17) will look best? And then, which pair of shoes (too embarrassed to disclose number of options) will best tie the look together?

Of course, this process only works if everything is fitting that day. Cue the “none of my pants fit today” mantra. Anyone not been there? If so, you are either lying or not my friend anymore. Just kidding. Everyone loves people who never feel bloated.

On “those” days, I break out the ponte (translation: stretchy) pants or leggings, or that pair of pants one size up that I keep around for this exact reason. You know the ones.. They sit innocently on a hanger, just waiting patiently for their turn. God bless them. They get along well with the “forgiving tunic” and “oversized black sweater”, also humbly waiting to serve when duty calls.

Here’s how outfit selection goes for me.

Step one, identify the event I’m dressing for. Is it work? If so, casual or more business like today?

I work in a casual office but I kind of like dressing up. Usually it’s pant/blouse/sweater combo or an occasional casual dress. I often think it would be a kick to work in a big city ad agency for a week or so just so I could really have fun with the dress to impress routine.

Or is it a ladies lunch or girls night out? For a girls get-together, we dress for the ladies.  And let’s face it, all women dress for other women 90 percent of the time. Do we really think that the men in our lives notice the attention to detail when we coordinate the perfect belt, tunic, legging and booties ensemble? No. No they do not (unless they are in the fashion industry that is). Now a sexy LBD? That they will notice.

Special occasion? These are my nemesis. I can never seem to find formal attire that fits, is comfortable and doesn’t cost more than a modest vacation. Also, I’m tall and hate wearing heels and let’s face it, formal dresses need heels. It’s just a fact and we all know it. I do have a few standby LBDs that will work in a pinch. And I found a great black sling back with a heel that’s only 2″ so I typically don’t fall over. To me, that’s a success.

My favorite occasion to dress for is TV casual. That’s where I throw on the most comfortable pair of lounge pants, a big flannel shirt or slouchy sweatshirt, slippers and a smile. Can’t get any better than that. Unfortunately, that ensemble doesn’t cut it when I have to leave the house. Unlike some brave souls, I’ve never felt right about going to the grocery store in what I consider pajama attire. No judgment here, just my personal comfort zone.

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The next factor to consider when selecting an outfit is what’s the weather like? Because if it’s cold in the morning but it’s gonna warm up a lot, it really throws me.. I know, layers right? But it still throws me.

Transitional seasons (which make up at least 50% of the time here in Illinois) really challenge me. When it’s 80 degrees in October and I have a closet full of Fall clothes ready to go, I really hate having to go back to summer attire. I really want to break out the boots and chunky sweaters. Yes,  I am aware that I will eat my words come January.

Now comes the fun stuff… Accessories! Belts, bags, scarves, jewelry, sunglasses! And outerwear. Hours can (and have) been spent on getting that “effortless” pulled together look. All in the name of fashion.

Heres to a relaxing wardrobe selection today. I just know you are going to look effortlessly chic!

And remember, you’re never fully dressed without a smile.

Choices, choices, choices.

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