‘Tis the season. The season for entertaining, shopping, decorating and family gatherings. And for many – the season for overwhelming stress.

With Thanksgiving just a few days away, it’s safe to say most of us have our plans in place. For my clan, it’s a giant potluck. Everyone brings a side or two to compliment the turkey and ham we’ve ordered from a local BBQ joint. We’ve got all the usual dishes covered; mashed and sweet potatoes, the ever-present green bean casserole, stuffing and gravy, cranberry sauce and several other goodies to pile on the plate.

There’s always a generously laden dessert table and it’s impossible to leave hungry – or without a good supply of leftovers. This year, there will be over 30 of us for our Thanksgiving dinner – inlcuding two new baby girls.

There’s a lot to be thankful for, and by divvying up the work, we’ll be able to focus on spending time with our loved ones. But there have been years when I’ve cooked the entire meal from start to finish – shopping and prepping for days. Stress, stress and more stress.

One year, I decided to forego the traditional theme and went for an Italian feast. It was a nice change of pace – and delicious. I know many families who choose to dine out for Thanksgiving, or serve a much simpler menu. There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate.

All that should matter is doing what works best for you and your family. But with Thanksgiving just days away – and Christmas rapidly approaching – it can seem like everyone else has it all together while you’re stressing about ruining the turkey or finding perfect gifts for everyone on your list.

Meanwhile, there are those who seem to channel Martha Stewart, achieving perfection in every aspect of preparation.  Multiple Christmas trees are tastefully placed throughout their home. Thanksgiving and Christmas meals are served on festive holiday china.  Christmas shopping is done weeks in advance and everything neatly wrapped and hidden away until the big day. We all know a Martha or two. They effortlessly breeze through the season with style and ease.

The rest of us can be left feeling overwhelmed and inadequate. But it doesn’t have to be that way.  Some people find true joy in elaborate décor, they love to shop and cook and wrap presents.  Others prefer a more laid-back holiday with simpler themes – but just as joyous. Being true to our own holiday style and letting go of unrealistic expectations goes a long way to stress free holidays.

It also helps to step back and focus on the true meaning of the season. It’s not about giving perfect gifts or having magazine worthy décor or serving a five course meal. The holidays should be about focusing on the people and things that bring us peace and happiness.

Over the years, I’ve collected tips and wisdom for happy and stress free holidays from friends, family and my own observations. Maybe they’ll resonate with you too.

Curated tips for a happier, stress free holiday:

• Holiday gift-giving doesn’t always have to translate into spending money. We all have precious time and talents to offer: Volunteer at a homeless shelter, kids club, or the Humane Society. Share your talents with your neighbor, community, friend, or family member.
• Remember that loved ones travelled to spend time with you, not watch you cook and clean up in the kitchen. Stop. Sit. Laugh. Make memories. 
• Accept that your grown children are married and have many schedules to juggle. Remember that the gathering is the people, not the specific date on the calendar.   
• Sometimes we just need to “be.” Be grateful for not only the big things, but also the small things.
• Be aware of all that happens around you – the sounds, the smells, the “feels”, etc. Enjoy every part of the holiday experience.
• It’s OK to say “no” and take time for yourself – take a break from all the holiday activities. Set aside time to read a good book or watch your favorite movie.

And, if you are striving to for a more organized holiday, try these tips from some real life Martha Stewarts:

• Dori Levanti: “Being as organized as possible in preparation for hosting family during the holidays reduces stress. Lists work well for me. I have shopping lists for gifts and groceries. A household “to do” list for me, and a “honey-do” list for the hubby. I try to plan the menu, decorations and shopping ahead of time so I can relax and enjoy my family.”
• Kim Arnold: “I plan ridiculously ahead. One tip is finding the proper serve-ware ahead of time and putting a post-it note inside indicating what side dish goes there. It cuts down on time and stress.”
• Nelena Nef: “I prep and assemble across multiple days. I also write out a whole timeline for the day of, so I don’t miss any steps. I always work backwards from service time and don’t forget to add time for the turkey to rest before carving.”
• Laura Finke: “Make lists of all things needed for events you are hosting or attending and try not have a perfectionist attitude toward hosting. No one cares. They just want to spend time together and enjoy the season. With a new grandbaby in our lives, seeing it through her eyes is so special – even if it’s only the lights that grab her attention this year.”

And the award for best holiday advice goes to JB Buenting who swears by the two P’s: “No politics and extra pie!”

I hope you find some of these tips helpful and wish you and your loved ones a very happy holiday season – however you choose to celebrate.