Reconnecting with old friends is one of life’s best rewards. Sharing memories from the past and realizing you have even more in common after all “those years” is a wonderful gift. My husband and I were fortunate to experience this type of “friendship refresh” when we caught up with our former Champaign neighbors, Alan and Lisa Gleghorn.

The Gleghorns moved from Illinois to Arizona many years ago, but for sixteen years, we were backyard neighbors. We spent time chatting “over the fence,” in our Champaign subdivision, watching our children grow while making our way through our 30’s and 40’s.

Those were the years of child-rearing, career-growing busyness. We were just two families among many who had moved into the neighborhood around the same time. We all had kids of similar ages and so we naturally started spending time together. There were couple’s dinners, family cook-outs and the usual proximity friendships formed.

There were times when we all wondered if we’d make it through those tough parenting years. We leaned on each other, sharing both proud and frustrating moments. Before we knew it, those “kids” were somehow grown, and while parents will always parent – it’s different when offspring become adults making their own way in the world.

Then come the years we evolve and mature as middle-aged adults. We have more time to focus on interests outside of child rearing and start looking towards the years beyond career building. We develop friendships based more on common interests than common age of offspring.

We’d lost touch with Alan and Lisa after they moved, but started reconnecting over dinners when we’d look them up while vacationing in Arizona. A quick catch-up on happenings in the old neighborhood, sharing career or retirement updates, our adult children’s status and pondering how those years flew by so fast.

After purchasing a home Arizona a few years ago, we started spending more time with our old/new neighbors. Lisa showed me some great hiking trails. We enjoyed long, easy conversations while marveling at the beauty of the desert. She told me about her horse Thunder, and the ranch where she boarded him. I told her I’d love to see it.

A few weeks later, after hiking with our husbands, we took a tour of the Reigning Grace Ranch. The ranch is an amazing place. Its mission is to “pair disadvantaged youth and families with redeemed, neglected, and abused slaughter bound horses to mend broken hearts, strengthen the spirit and instill hope in both human and horse.” In other words, the horses provide a therapeutic experience for children experiencing difficulty or trauma. (for more information, visit: http://www.azgr.org)

Lisa is a horse person. Her connection to Thunder was obvious as she led him around the path outside the paddock he shares with dozens of other horses. “He’s about 25 years old, half paint and half quarter horse,” she shared.

As we walked around the property, watching the animals grazing, interacting with each other and just generally being horses, I felt a sense of awe. The view itself, a vast space sprinkled with desert flora, with a broad cloud-streaked sky above and majestic mountains in the distance, certainly put my life into needed perspective.

I have a tendency to get sucked into the daily news cycle, resigned to the angst that the world is in peril. Being out in nature and among innocent animals has a way of dissolving stress and encouraging peace and introspection.

I am also a person who tends to sit back and observe, and I quickly became aware of the unique behaviors and personalities of each horse. I’d point things out to Lisa and she’d always have an explanation. “Why doesn’t that cream colored horse get along with the other horses?” “That’s Dixie – she’s new and hasn’t assimilated the herd yet.”

Or, when I pointed out two large black and white horses who seemed a little snippy with each other, she explained “those two are sisters. They get jealous if you show one more attention.” The “sisters” in question stood side by side, barely moving the entire time we were at the ranch. A vision of the twins from “The Shining” came to mind.

I noticed that the horses would get territorial if another tried to nose their way into a busy feeding trough. When the unwelcome horse attempted to wrangle their way in, they were met with pinned-back ears – a warning signal that they weren’t welcome.

And just like humans, there seem to be close friendships, cliques, rivals and enemies. Kind of like the lunch room at school, where one had to “fit in” to sit at certain tables, there seemed to be the “popular” horses and sadly, also a few outcasts.

Lisa explained this dynamic from a different perspective; “One of the things that’s interesting is that we tend to humanize horses when we talk about them. They actually hang out in micro-herds for protection rather than because they like another horse’s personality.”

When asked what she finds special about being around horses, Lisa replied; “there are a lot of things I like about horses. I love how sensitive they are to their human’s emotions. It can be very calming to just hang out in the presence of a horse and not do anything. I love how we can move horses without touching them. I think it’s fascinating how much we can learn about ourselves from interacting with horses.”

And she’s right. The few hours spent at the ranch observing horses who came from a variety of backgrounds (some were race-horses, some were working horses and some were even wild horses), rescued and now living together, well cared for and loved – got me thinking about how humans also evolve with age and circumstance.

As the years go by, we gain wisdom and appreciation from our unique life experiences. That’s why there are so many benefits in reconnecting with people at different life stages. When renewing friendships, we share our new interests and insights and we learn about ourselves and others.

I saw, through the eyes of a friend who loves of horses, how people evolve, grow and build relationships over the years. I am thankful that we were able to reconnect with our former (and now new) neighbors and see firsthand the wonder of people helping animals heal and, in the process, healing themselves.

Here’s to making old friendships new again.