In just a few days, people from all around the country will gather with loved ones as they celebrate Thanksgiving. It is truly my favorite holiday. Because the goal is admirable. A day of gratitude among family and friends.

Not everyone shares my high regard of the day. It can be a lonely time for many. There are those annoying family members. There’s bad behavior and political arguments at the dinner table, hurt feelings and the disappointments that come with setting the bar too high and trying for that Hallmark holiday.

I get it, and I hope that those who struggle with the day can find a source of peace and calm to get through it. And for those who reach out to help others on this holiday, your kindness does not go unnoticed. Sometimes, helping others is the best way to show gratitude. 

I’m grateful that most of my memories of the holiday are positive. As I reminisce about past Thanksgivings, I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank my mother. The work she did to make the day special is the main reason it’s a favorite. But there are many others.

What’s not to like?

I love that Thanksgiving takes place late in the Fall. I love the cool crisp air that signals sweater weather. I love the slowing pace the days take on as the year draws to an end. I appreciate that there are no gift requirements, and it doesn’t involve dressing up in costumes.

It’s also not a religious holiday, which means no church clothes or rushing around to get to Mass on time. In fact, comfortable attire is encouraged for obvious reasons. Of course, I’m referring to the abundance of food. Thanksgiving is designed to encourage long hours of conversation while lingering over the meal.

Memories of Thanksgiving in a big family.

I grew up in large family. There were ten of us. We celebrated holidays on a big scale. Thanksgiving was festive and abundant – and somewhat chaotic. The numbers (and chaos) grew as my siblings and I had families of our own and we all descended on my parent’s home for the big day.  

Depending on the ages and stages of our offspring, there could be toddlers, grade-schoolers, teens and adults young and old in the mix. Often, there were upwards of thirty people at Thanksgiving dinner. It was not unlike attending a neighborhood party, except everyone was related.

With such a prolific family, ample seating was required. This was accomplished with two large dining tables. There were also a couple of round tables in the living room. No available seating went to waste.

While the adults settled into conversational groupings, the kids ran around, laughed and teased each other, snuck cookies from the dessert table and generally behaved like kids. When it was time to find a seat for dinner, they grouped themselves by age, avoiding the dining room which had a more formal vibe. That’s where the adults who wanted a quieter meal sat.

My parents sat at opposite heads of the table with mom at the end nearest the kitchen entrance for easy access to the large platters of food. We then said grace all enjoyed a delicious, traditional Thanksgiving feast.

Plenty of dessert.

When we were kids, our mom did all the cooking, spending hours basting a giant turkey and preparing an unending selection of side dishes and desserts. She made it look easy. As we got older, it was high time we started pitching in. We were each assigned to bring an appetizer or side dish. I was responsible for the green bean casserole.

We all seemed to think it was necessary to contribute dessert in addition to our sides. This despite the fact that mom always baked several pies and a preview selection of her mouth-watering Christmas cookies. So, we brought even more pie, additional pates of cookies, and boxes of candy. In our minds, nothing could be worse than a dessert shortage on Thanksgiving.

Thankfully, there was always a big pot of coffee to go along with all that sugar. I’ll never forget the avocado green percolator that mom brought out for these large gatherings.

Always room for more.

Over the years, friends or significant others (including future spouses) often joined us on this day of feasting and family togetherness. One year, I brought my college roommate home for thanksgiving. Being from California and having just one sibling, she was fascinated by my large midwestern family.

What was just another family dinner for me – the back and forth between siblings, the giant platters of food, the various and sundry holiday hubbub, was to her a fascinating experience – akin to a day at the zoo or even a trip to a foreign land. My husband, an only child, had a similar experience when I brought him home to meet “my people” several years later.

My parents continued to host Thanksgiving at their home for years after we all moved out. It was an amazing run. When they finally sold their home and downsized, it was time to for them to take a breather.

New Traditions.

After my parents moved out of their entertainment hub of a house, my siblings and I started gathering into smaller family sub-groups for Thanksgiving. Who among us could take on entertaining thirty relatives with the ease of our matriarch? I’m happy to report that over the years our parents were treated to many well-deserved Thanksgiving dinners prepared by their offspring. Some years, they made the rounds to two or three different homes – pacing themselves on the turkey and pumpkin pie.

My entire family still gets together for an annual Christmas dinner, but my kids will always miss those big holidays at their grandparent’s house. I love that we all share those wonderful memories, but there are new memories to be made and new traditions to explore.

Last year, we joined my sister, her husband and my mother at a restaurant for a Thanksgiving brunch. Most of our kids weren’t in town and we figured, why cook for just a few? The food was delicious and we convinced the restaurant to pack up some leftovers for the requisite “second meal” later that evening. We all had plenty to eat and no one had to do the dishes.

This Thanksgiving, I’ll be cooking for seven – but there will be a twist. Instead of turkey and the trimmings, the Prichard family will be feasting on a menu of Italian cuisine. Lasagna, chicken parm, caprese salad, focaccia, antipasto, tiramisu. By special request, we’ll also have apple and pumpkin pie on hand. Because, you can never have enough dessert.

I wish you and your loved ones a very blessed Thanksgiving. I’m grateful to anyone who takes the time to read my “musings.” And be sure to enjoy that second (or third) plate of food – guilt free, of course.